If you’ve ever walked into a classroom and felt like your staff was narrating every move (“Eyes on me! Get in line! Did you hear what I said?”), you’re not imagining things.
In fact, the average student with a disability hears more directions and corrections per hour than most of us would tolerate in a week.
And all that well-meaning verbal input?
It’s not helping. It’s overwhelming their nervous systems—and keeping them from learning.
Why Directions and Corrections Don’t Work (Even the Nice Ones)
Here’s what the research—and your own observations—have probably already shown:
- Too many directions = students disconnect, shut down, or resist.
- Too many corrections = students feel shame or learned helplessness.
- Too much talking = students stop listening altogether.
This is especially true for students with disabilities, anxiety, trauma histories, or a strong need for autonomy (think: PDA, or pervasive drive for autonomy).
It’s not defiance. It’s neurology.
There’s a Better Way: The 3-Part Formula That Calms the Chaos
This blog introduces a simple, game-changing alternative that helps staff shift from control to connection.
The formula: Statement + Open-Ended Question + Pause
This approach helps educators reduce overwhelm, avoid power struggles, and promote student thinking—all key ingredients in inclusive classrooms. Here's how each part works and what it sounds like in practice:
Part 1: Observe/Notice/State
A neutral, factual description of what’s happening or about to happen
Purpose:
- Anchors students in time, space, or task
- Reduces confusion and builds predictability
- Removes judgment or urgency
Examples:
- “It’s time for writing.”
- “We’re getting ready to go to lunch.”
- “Your partner is waiting at the rug.”
- “You’re holding the scissors.”
- “Math tubs are open.”
Pro Tip: Keep it short. Avoid “You need to…” or “I need you to…” (which sneak in judgment and control).
Part 2: Inquire/Ask an Open-Ended Question
An invitation to reflect, decide, or initiate action.
Purpose:
- Engages students’ problem-solving and decision-making
- Builds autonomy and ownership
- Promotes self-regulation
Examples:
- “What’s the first thing you need?”
- “How can you help your group right now?”
- “What do you notice about your materials?”
- “Where does your body feel ready to be?”
- “What’s your plan to get started?”
Pro Tip: Avoid yes/no or “test” questions. The goal is curiosity, not correction.
Part 3: Pause
Let the question hang. Create space. Trust the process.
Purpose:
- Gives students time to think (and reduces pressure to perform)
- Honors processing time, especially for neurodivergent learners
- Builds trust and confidence
What it looks/sounds like:
- A full, silent 5–10 seconds.
- A soft nod or patient eye contact.
- A glance at the schedule or visual support while waiting.
Pro Tip: Resist the urge to fill the silence. Your pause is a powerful teaching tool.
Full Formula in Action
Instead of:
❌ “Put your pencil down and stop talking!
I said it’s time to go!”
Try:
✅ “We’re heading to science. What needs to
happen with your supplies?” [Pause]
Or:
❌ “You’re not listening. Go sit down.”
Try:
✅ “Everyone’s in their learning spot. Where does your body need to be?” [Pause]
This approach is simple, powerful, and inclusive. It shifts your staff from managing behavior to inviting participation—and that’s a game-changer in inclusive classrooms.
You Don’t Need to Wing It—We Made You the Guide
Our free download for this episode gives you 150 ready-to-use examples of this formula in action:
✔ Early childhood to high school
✔ Social skills, safety, transitions, conflict, academics, and more
✔ Built for real classrooms and real staff