Transcript [pdf]

SHOW NOTES

Key Takeaways

• • Swearing and explosive language almost always signal a nervous system in crisis, not intentional disrespect.
    
  • Your nervous system reacts too — shock, embarrassment, pressure to act—so having a plan prevents reactive punishment.
    
  • Punishment may silence the moment but damages trust, escalates power struggles, and disconnects the student from you.
    
  • Responding with boundaries, honesty, and calm presence helps you maintain dignity — for yourself and the student.
    
  • Repair afterward matters just as much as the initial response.

     

Episode Download

This fill-in-the-blank tool helps you create a personalized script and strategy for moments when a student swears, yells, storms out, or lashes out.

Inside you’ll find:

• • A section to identify what activates you in these moments
    
  • Options for self-regulation you can commit to
    
  • Space to write your own authentic connection phrases
    
  • A “save-face” strategy so you stay grounded without shaming the student
    
  • Guidance for reconnecting and repairing after things calm down

👉 Download at inclusiveschooling.com/download61 

Practical Tips

• • Name your internal reaction privately. Acknowledge your shock or hurt so it doesn’t leak out as punishment.
    
  • Pause before responding. Silence + calm presence is often the safest first move.
    
  • Use neutralizing language. Phrases like “Let’s take a minute,” or “We’ll talk after class,” stop escalation.
    
  • Choose relationship over reaction. Focus on reconnection, not retaliation or forced consequences.
    
  • Give the student (and yourself) space. Step aside, breathe, or allow the moment to pass before addressing it.
    
  • Repair intentionally. After things settle, open the door with:
    
    • “That was a big moment. Want to talk about what was going on?”
      
    • “You’re not in trouble — we just need to figure this out together.”
      
  • Seek support for yourself. Debrief with a colleague, step outside, journal, or reset your nervous system. 

Learn More About Behavior 360, our newest on-demand PD!

inclusiveschooling.com/behavior-360